Is anyone else loving the Olympics?

For the next 2 weeks I will be sat in front of the sofa and become an expert on sports I’ve never really through about, only to forget about them for another 4 years and then let the cycle repeat itself.

I think the Olympics is such an important part of our world culture. To watch these incredible athletes soar through the sky doing backflips on a slender piece of wood is mental to me!

In reference to my earlier comment, there isn’t a stage as widespread as the Olympics where we can all appreciate the discipline of being the best at a sport. I mean, how often do you think of the core strength needed for the women’s/men’s big air or the rhythm and dance figure skating! Never…in my case. Maybe you think of it every day and in which case, sorry I’m so ignorant! :)

What’s great, is that it’s broadcast on such a big stage so it’s accessible to most people to appreciate. In a society where we are glued to our phones and going outside is more important than ever, I think the Olympics is a great way to encourage the younger generation.

Let me know if you’re watching the Winter Olympics!

It’s been a couple days since I last posted because, simply, I felt like I didn’t have much to say. I’ve been having a severe lack of inspiration but I also got very busy so didn’t even have time to brainstorm. However, I like to write about what I’m thinking and feeling and today I got hit with inspiration.

From the title of this post, I’m sure you can guess what I want to talk about.

In this day and age, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. You find yourself asking yourself questions such as “should I be earning that by now?” “Should I have bought a house?” “Do I need to be settled down by now?”. In your twenties, especially, people are at such different stages. Some are having kids, buying houses, getting married while you’re just trying to remember if you brushed your teeth this morning.

As I approach my 25th birthday, I find this noise in my head getting louder and louder as the paths of my friends seem to drift further and further from my own. Until this point in my life, my friends lives have always mirrored my own. School, sixth form, University and then now… where our lives have split off from a singular path.

I find that this pressure has come from within. I set myself impossible standards and knock myself down because I don’t deem myself as ‘successful’ as others my age because I haven’t hit the same milestones.

I think the world of social media also makes this harder for people my age. You see the ‘highlight reel’ of their life where they show their smiling children and pristine houses but you’ll never hear about the tantrums or see the state of their house 99% of the time. But you still sit and wonder why their lives look much better than your own

I’m not sure what the answer is to stop comparing yourself to others, apart from constantly reminding myself that we are all on our own path and going at our own pace.

I read something somewhere that plants blossom at different rates but it doesn’t make them any less beautiful.

Heather leaving the hollow

Happy Wednesday!

Recently, I’ve been into London on a few work trips and find myself dreading it every time. It’s never been a place I’ve been fond of, and it wasn’t until I was on my home from London just a few weeks ago that I actually put any thought into why. So here’s what I deduced, and hopefully you might be able to relate to a few points too!

Like any major city, I struggle with the busyness of the London Underground. The scrambling to find a space under someone’s armpit in a packed out carriage is certainly not for me. The air always feels thicker and dirtier (I guess I am underground), making me feel suffocated. The screeching of the wheels on an ancient track just gives me anxiety and adds to the headache I already had acquired from the thick air.

Now once off the underground, you find yourself in London! Much like the picture above, there are some lovely sights, particularly St Paul’s Cathedral, but unfortunately it is hard for me to enjoy because of the rushing nature of the city. Everyone is always in a rush and seems to be in a bad mood!

Now of course, perhaps I’m being unfair. Every city has these issues but it is likely amplified by the amount of people so it seems like they ALL are in a rush but that may not be the case. However, it’s worth noting I do not find all cities this way, especially in other countries. I can’t help but wonder if we British folk are just living a stressful lifestyle and need to slow down and enjoy life more. For example, I overly visited Copenhagen and completely fell in love!

I’d love to know your thoughts on London or if your nearest city is the same or different.

To combat my Sunday blues I’ve decided to curate a list of things that my anxiety thinks are big deals but in reality…aren’t that deep.

1. Feeling awkward at work when someone I don’t really know joins me in the kitchen and I don’t know what to say besides “how was your weekend?”

2. Doing an exercise wrong at the gym - no one’s watching.

3. Sending an email to the wrong colleague at work…we’ve all done it!

4. Occasionally getting a croissant at work when I’m trying to lose weight.

5. Taking the wrong turning and adding 20 minutes to a journey

6. Feeling like I don’t earn as much as my friends…who cares! We’re all on our own journey

7. Feeling like I’ve used too many exclamation marks in an email or text. Honestly, whatever - I’m enthusiastic!

Now, I don’t want to invalidate any of the anxiety I have around these things but sometimes it’s good to remember that it really just isn’t that deep.

I’d love to hear your examples of things that just aren’t that important but in the moment you get all flustered!

Heather leaving the hollow

I'd like to preface this post by saying I love a lot of films, far more than I can fit into a short list but for now, these are my current favourites.

1. Back To the Future 1,2,3 - I think all 3 of these films are actual perfection. I know a lot of people feel like the third one let the trilogy down, but honestly, I love it just as much as the other 2. If I had to pick one, though, it would have to be the first one.

2. The Breakfast Club - Dare I say this may be my favourite film of all time. I think I just watched it at a perfect age and resonated with the films message. Although it's not action heavy and takes place in mostly one location, I don't think it needs more because the acting and allegory is so strong.

3. Mulan (the original) - I just feel like in terms of Disney Princesses, Mulan was way ahead of the curve...and no, I hate the remake ;).

4. Rocky IV - In my humble opinion the best Rocky film in the franchise. There's just something about Drago being the ultimate villain which just sets this film apart.

5. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - As you can probably tell by now, the 80s is my favourite film era. I'm not too sure what to say about this, aside from the fact that John Hughes is a genius.

Would love to know if any of these are your favourites too :)

Heather leaving the hollow

Each morning, on my way to work I have a lot of time to think.

Incase I haven’t mentioned before, I have a 40 minute commute each way to work every day, which is a lot of time to think. One question that popped into my mind this week was:

If I could turn back the clock, what would I change?

I couldn’t help but wonder if I would change ‘mistakes’ that I’ve made in my life or maybe what would have happened if I chose a different path. I often think about what my life would have looked like if I didn’t go to a university. Would I have more money or different friends, would I be happier?

One of the biggest things I did in my life was originally drop out of University. Before I ended up at the one I graduated from in the summer, I initially went to a different one which I hated.

I decided to drop out, and at the time, I remember thinking my world was crumbling and wishing so desperately that I could turn back the clock to and pick a different one. It was a very confusing time for me because Uni had been a dream of mine since I was old enough to understand the concept. To get to my dream and then drop out was a very hard experience for me. I remember thinking that I was now a year behind and that I was a complete failure.

But lo and behold, a year later I applied again and got into a different one and loved every second of it.

In hindsight, this was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me.

If I had joined that university originally, I would not have the same friends or had any of the same experiences that I treasure today. I have a job that I enjoy and none of these things would have happened if I joined a different path.

Although there are many things in my past I wish I hadn’t done, ultimately they have taken me to where I am today and made me the person that I am.

So I think my answer is no. I wouldn’t change anything about my past because I am content with my present.

Heather leaving the hollow

Do you know what the worst thing about time is? That it never stops

Do you know what the best thing about time is? That it never stops

That’s the trade off we make to live.

I’m sure, like everyone, I’ve been in situations where I’m so unbelievably happy that I don’t want this moment to ever end. It’s hard to believe that you could ever be happier than how you are in this moment. You wish that time could just stop and that you could bask in the joy of this moment forever.

But you can’t.

Inevitably, the hands of time move and you continue along the windy road of your life.

Now, have you ever been so sad that you can’t imagine ever being sadder than how you are in that moment? Me too. Thankfully, the hands of time keep moving and even though every minute feels like a lifetime, you make it through.

It’s in those moments that I’m happy that time never stops. This sadness won’t last forever, life goes on. The world continues to turn and in doing so your sadness becomes smaller as your life becomes bigger around it.

That’s the trade off we make with time. We agree to enjoy those happy moments only for a short while, as long as the hard times move just as quickly, although it feels like it never does.

Heather leaving the hollow

I recently came across this word in a song that started playing through my car speakers one morning commute.

The lyrics of the song were ‘I thought by now you’d understand sonder’ which intrigued me more because I, myself, didn’t understand sonder.

In my tired, bleary state I was thinking to myself ‘what the hell is sonder?’. When I got to work I Googled it and instantly loved it.

For those unfamiliar, this is the Google definition: “the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own". This idea gave me a huge sense of comfort.

As someone who experiences anxiety, it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own worries and mistakes. That isn’t to say that my anxieties and worries aren’t valid because they absolutely are. However, I take comfort in the fact that if I make a mistake at work or forget to do something, the world will continue to turn. There are many narratives going on in this vast world, filled with so many different people. I might play a part in a very small number of those stories; in some, I’m a passerby, but in most of them, I won’t be part of them at all. However, they are still there.

I think it’s a beautiful way to think about the world. Our problems and feelings are valid but the next time you’re feeling embarrassed about something you did or made a mistake, just know, the world will continue to turn. Everyone is far too wrapped up in their own story to worry about what you do in yours. So make it a page turner.

Heather leaving the hollow

Last night, I was writing out a card for my manager as she has now been at the company for a whole year, joining around the same time as me. I decided to get her a card to commemorate the occasion and use it as an opportunity to tell her how grateful I was that she was my mentor.

It got me thinking how important role models are for people not just in work, but in any aspect of life.

When I joined my job, I had ZERO experience and my degree wasn’t even in a relevant industry, so I really was starting from zero. Without the patience and leadership of my manager, I would not be where I am today and have the knowledge that I have, now a year later. I almost don’t recognise the person I was 12 months ago! She’s completely different.

I’ve been lucky enough to have some great mentors in my life. Whether that be, family teachers, managers etc they’ve all shaped me in some way.

The next most notable would have to be my secondary school English teacher. She was one of the first people who inspired me to go to university and to study my passion. Although I didn’t study English, the idea that I could go and study something creative hadn’t really occurred to me, as I thought Uni was only for doctors or lawyers.

University changed the course of my life massively and taught me so many things, not just academically but life skills too. Without these mentors, my life could look very different but I’m so thankful I crossed their path.

Who has been a notable mentor in your life and how have they shaped you?

Heather leaving the hollow

Last year, myself and my boyfriend went to see one of our favourite comedians, Romesh Ranganathan. During his set, he made reference to a podcast he had done with Steven Bartlett, Diary of a CEO. This was a podcast I had previously listened to but never tuned in to his particular episode, and I’m glad I did.

For those of you who don’t know, like many of us, Romesh has struggled with his mental health his whole life, despite being successful and appearing to be happy and confident on the outside. His portrayal of his mental health really spoke to me and I found myself relating to a lot of his experiences. The biggest one being, the horrible voice inside his head.

He described this voice popping up whenever he achieved something good, or even just in day to day life. It tells him things like “you’re a terrible friend, a horrible father, you don’t deserve to do well, you’re weird, you’re not funny”. What I found most surprising was that the host, Steven, found this concept completely shocking and he admitted that until he started the podcast, he hadn’t realised that having this negative voice inside your head was even a thing. This is because he had never experienced it.

As I listened through the speakers in my car, I audibly gasped. Never in my life had it occurred to me that not everyone experiences this negative voice, just like it hadn’t occurred to Steven that people had a negative voice at all.

Much like Romesh, I struggle with my inner voice constantly. It tells me I’m not good enough and that I’m a fraud, waiting to be found out. Quite naively, I thought this was something everyone struggled with to some degree in their life. I related to Romesh especially because on the outside, I look confident, at ease and charismatic but inside I’m painfully shy and insular. when I tell people this, they don’t believe me because I do so much to conceal or ignore the intruding thoughts in my head.

This of course plays into my anxiety, when my head tells me I’m in danger when I’m in a supermarket or a slightly larger than average social gathering.

I always refer to myself as a duck, serenely swimming on the surface but underneath it’s a chaotic struggle to stay afloat.

Now I am by no means unhappy, but I struggle with self doubt all the time. I would love to know if any of you have a negative voice inside your head or if this is the first time you’ve even considered this to be a possibility.

Heather leaving the hollow

I’m new around here - so it’s nice to meet you!

I’ve just discovered this app and it took me around 5 minutes to actually figure out how to create a post - lol. I was an avid user on Wordpress (but I’m not sure if anyone uses that anymore?) but I stumbled upon this app and so far I love it, it’s very sleek!

Since this is a first post, I wanted to tell you a little about me. Despite sounding like an old lady with technology I’m actually 24 and I work in marketing. I like reading, watching films (my degree is in film studies), national trust visits and hanging out with my friends.

Id love to hear from anyone reading this - how do you use this app? Do you love it? It seems like a new thing as I’ve never heard of it before so tell me more!

Speak soon

Heather leaving the hollow